Calm Apprehension

If you are starting your soap making, or anything for that matter, remember: most do not finish the task. There is gold in this idea.

Over the years, I've written twelve published books. I've written more than that, but not all are worthy of publication. Some are practice. This matters because I know what finishing looks like, and I know what quitting looks like.

In my group—where I find a plethora of encouraging people—I've been disappointed. Even there. This is not a disparagement on the group. My example is this: I asked for anyone who wanted to edit a manuscript. Found one person and moved to a private chat. She bragged and boasted of her very important friends. We chatted on the phone, but not before I had to wait thirty minutes while she did more important things. The chat was acceptable, although she spoke about her accomplishments and important friends, without asking any questions about me or my work. 

Then, I agreed to send her a copy of the manuscript. Three weeks went by without a word. I did not want to bother her. If she was in the publishing business for years wouldn't she know this situation could be smoothed over with one ounce of empathy? Anyone who has written a completed manuscript has apprehension when sharing it, in the beginning, no matter the quality of the work. To build a relationship is to make the energy exchange about both parties. Not all are this skilled. 

When I did, finally, inquire she claimed she did not receive my manuscript. I would think, even loosely, that if nothing came through when I said 'I'm sending it now' it would elicit a slight curiosity, even 'did you have my email correct?' Then I remembered—all of it wasn't about helping me.

Help is help. A reasonable person can see when they are helped. 

I wish I could say I've found more lovely people than not, but the 80/20 rule applies to most things. I've found lovely people who have been good for their word. This has been true. I've also found less-than-lovely people. Neither of these groups dictate what I do. I do what I do because I choose to. Taking praise and criticism in equal measure is another guideline. Observing the good and bad, the honorable and dishonorable... Simply observing the extremes without requirement to do anything.

Then, asking this question: "How does this affect me?"

There is nothing required of me. Will this person, who didn't do what they said, finish my manuscript, make the soap, do anything to help me? Nope. Will they do something to harm me? They cannot even be bothered to do that much. I will stay in my own lane and finish.

Remember this: you will either finish the job or not. Success is not guaranteed. That is a judgment left for evaluation after completion.

This is one small experience in a sea of disappointments. This did not stop me. I found small flecks of gold and continued. Apply dedication and follow-through and you've won this level of the game. And it is a game, to be sure. The good guys don't win because they are good. They win because they finish what they set out to finish.