Lost The Plot

Part of addressing the last few weeks I have been hiking and running every day.

I watch my carbohydrates and protein because although I am not over weight I have blood sugar issues that can potentially become bigger health issues. I check my blood sugar regularly with a glucose meter so this isn't guess work. Exercise can push the body to adjust its chemistry more rapidly than just dietary changes, so I am implementing more focused and strenuous exercise. Just one level of detangling the matrix or in this case, personal chemistry.

This outdoors activity also affords me quiet time to sit and meditate. I find an isolated place in the desert and mediate or contemplate, also mentally address the physical and emotional needs my person has. A large rock with expansive views generally does the trick. Truman senses my desire for quiet and sits patiently near me - without me having to ask him. I find his behavior fascinating.

I have been working with this idea of "letting go" of ideas and emotional hiccups. It seems so easy for others to just move on and "let go,"  but so elusive for me.

In my contemplation of "letting go" yesterday I realized my needle gets stuck.

The image that came to me was a record with a needle catching on the scratch of the album and playing the same part over and over. My needle has been stuck on a few things in this life. My immediate behavior is to ask why there is a scratch on the record and where did it come from? In other words, who put the scratch there? That is helpful, but only to a certain degree. There is another option - I can pull the needle up and replace it on an unscratched area as to continue listening to the music.

With this awareness I realized I have lost the plot. What is the plot? To listen to the music of life, not just focus on the scratch. I need to move my needle, refocus my attention, in other words, let go. I discovered a new way to see, and that can vanish as quickly as it came, or I can amplify it (by writing) to incorporate it into me, so I can live it. It, simply, feels like the next right thing.

I do see the plot easily enough with soap. I rarely let things hang me up about soap and have used many things others see as a failure to my advantage and insight. So, when it comes to other things why do I insist on examining the scratch of the album and not listening to the music? Well, asking why is another form of losing the plot and not getting on with it. Asking why is really asking, "if I can redirect myself in one area what is keeping me from applying that same behavior to another area?" The answer is - my view. And right behind that - choice.

I thought I would share this for our upcoming new year. My new piece of advice to myself, don't lose the plot by refusing to move my needle. Get on with enjoying the music. I wonder if I have a new form of "letting go"...

Here's hoping you see the plot, hear your own music and don't let your needle get stuck.


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