Burned Bridges
The quietest part of the season: before Solstice there is a hustle to get things done before the holidays. Maybe because you have guests arriving or are giving gifts on an eve or morning, or you’re simply feeling the pull of finishing things because the days grow shorter toward December 21, the very shortest day.
Now that part is over, it seems quiet. Some parts, like mine, have snow falling, which also helps to create quiet and therefore solitude. I am spending this time considering how I’d like my next year to be, enjoying the short days and getting myself mentally ready for longer days. In the summer there is light until almost ten at night, durning the long daytime. I’m not a fan. I’ve often gone into my husband’s office and complained “When will this day be over?”
Those days feel like two days in one for me.
Now, I’m considering how to deal with the up coming year. I realized I’ve burned a bridge. It was well used, worn, and I’m glad I did, however, the only way is forward is past this bridge. I’ve done this procedure many times in my life, and one of the most dramatic was divorce. I not only divorced my first husband, but quit my job (we were co-owners), gave up my 3,200 square foot house and five acre ranch to his new partner and moved out.
That was a choice. As it turned out, a good choice.
Anyway, I’ve burned bridges in the past. The interesting thing is I can always tell others who have bridges in their past, but burned and standing. There is powerful magic in a certain word, a spell. And once it’s said, it cannot be unspoken. It hangs there, changing things; the air, relationships, and the person who cast the spell.
Burning a bridge can also look like cutting your hair. Although less permeant, what isn’t often revealed is that some burned bridges can be rebuilt. Cutting one’s hair is a fine example. If long hair is desired, this is a painful process. Some bridges will regrow if not defended, and the spell is not re-established.
Quitting a job is another example of a burned bridge. I’ve not once been able to go back to a job I’ve quit, no matter the regret. Who would want to go back once the awareness dawns that the job no longer serves, generally, no amount of money heals this desire to leave.
Hair is more forgiving.
Now, I’ve done it again. Quit my job. My job was, as it turned out, making soap dough. I didn’t start there, but it grew into that aspect. I started my soap journey in two aspects, writing daily blog posts, which turned into five books. The other aspect was making creative soaps. Both brought me joy.
What didn’t bring me joy was striving to be perfect about soap dough colors. I offered soap dough - even though I taught many how to make soap dough in my books and videos - but I thought it was a short term effort.
What I haven’t realized until now is that once the bridge is burned, it creates a clear view of the way forward, because I have eliminated at least one choice.