Both books are what I actually do. The first book is my process. My intimate personal process of how I posture myself, my internal attitudes and my practice. The real things I do. Not the theory or ideals of what I do, but the stuff - the day-to-day things I do to get my mind ready to create something not yet seen, by me or anyone.
Every action I take to get myself in the right position to create, my tips and tricks, all those little nuanced things I learned on my own, along the way from being quite, reflecting on my own interpretations and observations of the world I shared. Those very moments and practices I didn't think I would share, I shared.
I happily, tentatively at times, shared these things. These private, intimate details. I know they are very different than a lot of others and I plowed ahead anyway.
The second book is the polished version of my personal soap recipe book. It is the cultivated version, the best recipes and the very best ways and ideas I have used to stay organized - the subtle tips and tricks I learned by observing, taking notes, reflecting and doing it again and again. Each recipe was an initiation for me. Each recipe took pounds and pounds of soap to make, weeks to cure and make again...
I was asked many times "how do you do that?" So, I responded to that question by writing.
Many, many people are generous and lovely, but there are those who are not happy. Nothing I can do will make them happy, but for some reason these people must share their unhappiness with me and try and make me feel badly for being me. For some reason those few voices are more powerful than the lovely and kind voices of those who support me.
This has been truly difficult for me to work through. The snide comments, the snarky suggestions... All this is hurtful. But those people are not reading this newsletter and therefore will never understand how their choice to behave in a base way, an angry way toward someone who's intention was to help, affects those around them.
These same angry people fuel the world and make it much harder for those who want to see beauty in the world to continue with that vision. What those angry people do not understand is, it's all a choice. I choose to carry on. I may write another book, and I'll continue to share my odd little soaps, even teach some day, but for now I am taking time to lick my slight wounds; heal those lashes that do effect me, in a cumulated way.
I wanted you to know that seeing the world with a bit of magic in it, honoring what is and choosing to still see magic has its bumps, but it is possible to move forward seeing the world with glints of sparkle that remind you there are unseen things, and those things could very well be fairies.
My goal, as those who have read my book know, is to create more good than harm, with others and most importantly, myself. I'll keep creating, keep posting and sharing, but from a distance... For now.